The Top 4 Conversation Killers Every Married Couple Should Avoid

Would you like to enhance conversation time with your spouse? It’s really a great way to connect!

Stick with us today, and we’ll show you how!

I’ve found that one of the most enjoyable things Jason and I can do as a couple is sit down for an intimate conversation…just the two of us! 

I look forward to those opportunities where we can get together, give each other our undivided attention, and talk about all the things we love to talk about!

But did you know that women and men enjoy conversation time differently? We’ve found that intimate conversation is a high priority need for most women, while it isn’t as much so for most men.

For us girls, we like to talk…we like to share, we like to gab! Whereas men don’t always have a need or desire to "talk" or may avoid it because they have difficulty expressing themselves effectively. 

Whatever the reason…men and women have different needs when it comes to conversation

So how can we bring these two opposites together? If this is one of your high priority needs, what can you do to encourage your spouse to participate and connect through conversation?

First things first…avoid conversation killers! There are certain forms of communication that can ruin a perfectly good conversation.

We’re going to call them the “Duh’s”…or DDDA’s of conversation. You definitely want to AVOID these because they will STEAL connection quickly! They are:

• Disrespect 

• Dwelling on the Past/Criticizing

• Demands

• Anger (Losing Your Temper)

We have found that when any of these show up in our conversations communication starts to break down because you lose the cooperative, willing spirit.  The other person has no incentive to participate further in a conversation that contains disrespect, demands, anger, etc. So avoid them!  This kind of talk isn't life-giving or fruitful.  

Remember the old saying that you catch more flies with honey! Pursue that and dump the negative! You’ll have a lot more success in connecting through conversation!

Jason and I have learned to keep these out of our talks even when the subject matter isn’t pleasant. Doing so has greatly enhanced our conversation time.

It’s that simple!

Now we both look forward to connecting through intimate conversation, and as we’ve worked with our clients on improving their communication by eliminating unfruitful talk, we’ve seen similar results. So these results aren’t just for us…they’re for you too! 

Which one of these speaks to you the most? And what element do you need to cut out of your conversation time?

Jennifer S. Goins