The Secret to Enhancing Joy in Your Marriage

Is it possible to cultivate joy in your life?  What about your marriage?  How can one actually boost joy?

Today, I was reminded of a way…

One of my favorite decorative pillows is embroidered with the word “grateful” across the front.  It was a recent purchase, not only because it was well-made and pretty, but because of the message on the front. 

Nowadays, you can find all manner of decorative items with that word painted, embroidered, or engraved on them.  All reminding us of the virtue of gratitude.  Why?

Gratitude means being appreciative of blessings, effort, gifts, etc.  It seems simple, but it isn’t.  Often we’re so centered on our own needs, wants, desires, and what we don’t have that murmuring is our mindset. 

In fact, much of the time it’s easier to murmur, wallow, complain than to appreciate. I'm certainly guilty! 

So, I find it kind of funny that products with the word “grateful” are being sold everywhere.  Is our society so empty of gratitude that we need reminding?  It’s as if even the material world itself is saying, “don’t forget to appreciate”! 

Anyway, I’d never normally buy something like that, but I really liked the pillow!  It is a lovely reminder to give thanks.

So, here we are having just celebrated the Thanksgiving holiday last week and are proceeding fully into the swing of the Christmas season. 

When I think of Thanksgiving, of course gratitude comes to mind as the holiday itself is about remembering the things for which we are thankful! 

Then with Christmas I always think of it as a season for joy.  The lights, the bright colors, the gifts, the fellowship all seem to create a festive atmosphere of joy! 

Gratitude…

Joy…

Is there a link between these two things?

I believe so.  I’ve experienced it! 

Recently, the Lord has been walking me through a season of gratitude.  In my time with Him, I’ve felt the need to press into thankfulness and ask Him to give me a heart of deeper gratitude. 

How amazing these past few months have been as I’ve experienced my heart grow and have begun to look at all things differently.  It’s been a supernatural transformation, as the Lord has answered my prayers by giving me “appreciative eyes”.  It’s like being given new goggles through which to see the world!

What I’e found is that with this newfound gratitude, this new posture of thankfulness has opened the door to increased joy in my life!  I have found myself laughing uncontrollably several times a week for several weeks in a row over the simplest things!  I’ve been wondering: what is this all about?  I haven’t giggled and laughed and been silly like that is so long! 

Then, I thought of gratitude! 

I believe that the Lord used the gratitude I’ve been feeling and expressing to usher in more joy.  The gratitude allows me to see the little things and constantly be thankful for them.  It reminds me of what I love about Him, Jason, the girls, our family, friends, and everything around me. 

It puts my mind on the blessings I have instead of what I might not. 

The more grateful I am, the more joy I experience! 

That's the secret! 

There is a direct link.  It is like gratitude is breathing air into the sails of my life in a way that causes me to soar into joy! 

It has permeated every part of my life…but especially my marriage and family relationships.

So as we enter the season of Christmas, beloved, do not leave your gratitude behind or perhaps you will skip over the joy of the season.  And if you want to experience more joy in your marriage, perhaps you can start with gratitude there too. 

I challenge you today to think of the things about your spouse (and kids) specifically that you are grateful for.  Thank the Lord for those things, and ask Him to reveal more to you!  Meditate on these things! 

In what ways is your spouse (and family) a blessing?  How can you show them your appreciation and bless them in return?  Allow your heart to open... it's amazing!

Jennifer S. Goins