Expectations: How Wrong Worship Can Wreck Your Relationship

Has your spouse become an object of worship?

Uh oh!

Expect disappointment!

Is this you?...keep reading because today I want to talk about how misaligned worship can negatively affect your relationship. With Valentine's Day coming up soon, and the focus on romance and emotions, perhaps we could all use a reminder!

Did you know we were created for worship? Yes, that’s right! We are actually designed to worship.  So, it's totally okay to worship...we all have a desire to do so...it just really matters what or really WHO you worship!!!

Unfortunately, when we date and later marry, we often begin to focus on and appreciate our spouse so much that we inadvertently elevate him/her to a level of performance and expectation that isn’t sustainable.

For example, we may expect them to meet every need, or we expect our happiness to come from them or the relationship. The problem is your spouse was not designed to meet all of your needs or reign on the throne of your heart.  Because at some point they will stumble.  They are imperfect after all!

God’s Word says in Luke 4:8 ”worship the Lord your God and serve Him only”

The truth is there is only one savior, Jesus. He is the only perfect, whole, complete, eternal being worthy of worship who can fulfill all of your needs. So it’s important to keep God at the center of your heart - not your spouse, your kids, your job, your house, your friends or anything else.

While those things are blessings, they shouldn't be elevated to a place they don't belong.

I learned this the hard way. I didn’t realize this, but for years I had been looking to other people and things to fill me. The problem was I’d feel pretty good for a while, but then be left wanting. I began to expect more from others to try to repeat that same happy feeling or look to the next new and exciting thing. The highs were nice, but the lows were devastating!

This path led me to make very unhealthy and unwise decisions that nearly wrecked my life and marriage because I was desperately trying to satisfy myself. Jason wasn’t meeting my needs, but nothing else was either!!! I had lost my identity and felt completely empty inside. I felt hopeless and depressed.

Finally, one day, I got down on my knees and asked the Lord what was going wrong! He lovingly revealed to me all that I had been doing to find satisfaction and why it wasn’t working! That empty hole in my heart was designed for Him…not Jason, not anyone or anything else!

All that time, I had been setting Jason, our relationship, and myself up for failure! Jason was never designed to fulfill all of the desires of my heart or meet all of my emotional needs, not to mention the deep spiritual needs. I had put unreasonable expectations on him and many other people/things.

Once I got my heart realigned, my whole world changed! Jason and I were able to reconcile, and I experienced all of the fruit and blessing of having Jesus at the center of my heart and our relationship.

I had:

Peace,

Joy,

Contentment,

Rest!

So remember, your spouse is an amazing gift. But expecting them to be your end all is an unrealistic expectation. Healthy expectations lead to healthy relationships, but unhealthy ones lead to unhealthy relationships!

Worshiping anything other than our perfect Creator will always lead to disappointment.

Is this speaking to you? Do you find yourself empty and disappointed in your spouse or yourself and others?  Perhaps you are putting too much reliance on them for happiness and satisfaction.  Pray about whether or not you need to realign your heart and put Jesus back in His rightful place. Once you do, you will see how many other blessings can grow and bloom from it! I did!

Jennifer S. Goins